You have arranged meetings with many boys and men. To generalize, I may call ’em “men”, may not I? Because someday they will be men. Thousands stories are carved as the life experience of mine. Thus, I know either who are bad or good. This is the way how You show to me. You have arranged the first one coming to my life when I knew nothing at all of such thing because I was still very very young. And I had no impression toward him. At all.
As time went by, You sent more. I have no idea why they had to be very annoying. I mean, the way they tried.. emm you know.
High school life coming. Again, You sent several people. In such condition, You emerged strange principle. A principle of not wanting to have such a.. you know. Call me odd because there was just few people having that kinda principle at that time, in my high school at least. You can count with your fingers. I was unsure toward this decision. I mean, could I bear it? Am I decorous to apply such thing? Though it’s not a matter of being decorous or not. hehe. I declared it to few friends, not up to 3, because I was unsure, like I said above. It was still so banal.
In such hazardous condition, You arranged a meeting with a boy (at that time. Perhaps he’s a man now). You arranged so he succeeded to steal the “heritage of life” of mine. Yet, that was a short moment. I got hurt. Believe it or not, this made me strengthen the possible-to-be-unstable principle into the stable one. Yeah, You are The One who Makes This Possible. 🙂 I call it “a gift”. This is the way how You gave “the gift”.
Came to me the confusion moment. The turning point was when You slipped something in my mind so I can say, “buat apa kamu mikirin orang yang belum tentu mikirin kamu. Mending mikirin Yang Maha Memikirkan kamu.” Like a magic, it witched me. The most efficacious incantation! That confusion moment gone like it never came to my life even once. You helped me. Somehow, You made me strengthen this principle. What the religion says as istiqomah. 🙂
A thing on which I have been istiqomah for years. Had not You send Your hands to me, I would have never been this strong.
More men You sent. You still helped me to be stable. This makes me tawakkal about who will be my mate in the long run. However, You arrange a meeting with a man in college life. You give me a pebble is not a problem. In fact, You give me a diamond instead 🙂 This is min haitsu laa ya tahsib. A manner beyond expectations. How lucky I am, they say and so do I. More surprising fact is that he holds the same principle as I do. Beyond expectation. He has been for years also. It means the man also knows the regulations within it: the theories and the mechanism. Thus, it’s not troublesome to deal with.
Yaa Rabbi, please help keeping this istiqomah-ness because none wants to lose it during the process of life. I’m lost in words to deliver thankfulness. All I know is You See the Truth what’s hidden.
‘Yaa Muqallibal Quluub, Tsabbit Qalbi ‘Ala Ta’atik’
“Wahai Dzat yg membolak-balikan hati, teguhkanlah hatiku diatas ketaatan kepada-Mu”
[HR. Muslim (no. 2654)]